The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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