you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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