why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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