I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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