im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize