...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching her eat just hurts me
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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