even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
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He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
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tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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