Can Purell be used as lube?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize