Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
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