Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize