Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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