maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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