So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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