He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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