OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
if i can run in heels then i can drive
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize