So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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