During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
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Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
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Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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