i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Can I color on your dick again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize