This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
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No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
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These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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