I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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