i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize