Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize