Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
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I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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