Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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