I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize