She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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