the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize