do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just found a bag of teeth...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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