just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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