take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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