she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
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I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
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I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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