weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
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at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
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Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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