Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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