Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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