We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize