im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Someone signed my nipple.
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