Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize