I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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