He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize