What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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