I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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