theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
My balls are so social today.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize