3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was not drunk enough for that final.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize