the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize