a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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