I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I smell like Dick and happiness
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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