I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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