I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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