Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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