Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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